Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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