I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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