Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
