I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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