no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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