Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
