Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
