I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
