i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize