Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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