Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
