dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize