I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
