no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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