We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
How naked do you want me to be?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
