whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
being pregnant is like rehab
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
my poor anus
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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