Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
This is my gift to your gina
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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