I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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