I'm lost and stupid without you.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
