Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
