Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
