he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
