Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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