ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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