it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
