Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
