hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
