I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
