i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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