If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize