My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
