Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
