just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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