Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Damn victory sex feels great
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
