I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
