if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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