if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Randomize
