Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
