Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I need to calm my uterus...
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
