I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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