yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
