Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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