For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
