It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
