beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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