I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
dude i'm inner monologue high
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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