Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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