MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
