I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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