So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
My boob is missing a layer of skin
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Randomize
