So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
