wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
