Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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