I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
