Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
