I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
