It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I need a hoe opinion
go on
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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