Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
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