Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
