Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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