Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize
