did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
